Man Cave Seating

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We’re about to scare the shit out of you. A real corker of a tale. The sort of story that will have you peeing your pants and soiling your boxers. After we’re done, after we’ve told you this unvarnished truth, you’re going to need a place to not only take a breather, but to plot a proper offensive and bomb the hell out of these bastards.

Are you ready?

… Hippies… They are REAL!

And if you plan on making it through the hippie invasion, you need to find the proper seating for your command center. The right spot to take a rest and plan a comeback against those smelly bastards. The issue though is that your buddies, the heads of this insurgence, need a sturdy seat on which to plant their ample cheeks.

Your Man Cave is the place where you will map out strategies and plan a hacky sack free warfare. You have to get on top of this, less the worse comes to pass.

Picture this; your daughter walks into your house and introduces you to her new boyfriend.

“Dad, this is Chad… he’s a Vegan.”

Run for you barracks! Call your troops in! The vegetarian bastard is looking at your pickup truck with the evil doped up eye and fishing out a pamphlet from his coat…

“Have you ever thought about buying a hybrid?”

Ahhhh, the horror!!!

You need to figure out your man cave seating….now. The good news is that there are plenty of options out there.

Bean Bags

Stick it to those villains by using their own weapons against them. Using a bean bag arrangement in your man cave is the equivalent of giving every Woodstock throwback a giant middle finger; Guerrilla Warfare.

A proper bean bag is the absolute bomb when employed in a man-cave. They are cheap, willing to take a stain (even those of the “There’s Something About Mary” persuasion), extremely light, and, best of all, there are so many models that there’s bound to be one that speaks volumes on your mindset.

The Money Bag

Are you a Tony Montana, “the world is yours” god bless free market trades, sort of Joe? Then by all means dish out a buck or two for this wad of cash bean bag. Tell us one person you know that hates money. No one? Exactly. Grab the money bag by clicking here.

Avengers Assemble

Is there an involuntary reaction in your groin every time the Marvel’s logo glazes the silver screen? Do you dream of having Tony Stark, F- You Money; vaulting over those Hydra goons in great leaps; and hiding the “zucchini” with Scarlett Johansson? Then, allow us to give you a befitting place to pass the time. You can get it here.

Limo Bag

So, you’re an old school OG? You want everyday to be your best dress day. When you kick the bucket, your casket will be so pimped out that even Kanye West will go: “That N-ga had style.” Then, your bean bag should reflect your personality. It should look like the inside of a stretch limo. Black, shiny, comfy, and the perfect place to enjoy a lap dance. This limo bag is for you.

Sofa Bag

“Doc,” you say to your therapist, “I have this fantasy.”

“Go on Gary, I’ve heard them all. Did I tell you about the guy who went to Shanghai? It involves a mechanical bull, a two thai twins, a ferret, a plunger, and a cart of Crayons… oh, and a car battery and those nipple clamps the French are so fond of…”

“Shit, Doc, I just want to bone the misses on a bean bag! But, by all means, do tell. And spare not the details.”

If this is a common discussion you find yourself in, then stop wasting your dough on a psychologist and splurge on this sofa bag. Get it by clicking here.

The Lips Bag

The man is nearly 80 years old, and last year he announced that he was having yet another kid with his new 1/3rd of his age model wife. A legend that is only eclipsed by the likes of his best friend Keith “I’ll survive the apocalypse and live off smoking cockroaches” Richards. I’m talking about the peacock strutting rocker Mick “how am I not shooting blanks” Jagger. What better way to honor the Rolling Stone that with a kickass bean bag. Get it? It’s a pair of lips. Grab it by clicking here.

Bean Bags, are truly a remarkable feat in seating engineering. There are thousands of models to choose from and, frankly, their only differences lay in their design and form; inside, like most squishy humans, they are almost all the same.

The Bar Stool

The mighty stool, the perch from up high that allows us to cast your sight over the lesser mortals that transverse your realm. A good stool, a sturdy stool, an apt stool will be your Man Cave’s number one companion through many lonely nights. Stools are practical in every sense of the word. Compared to a chair, or a sofa, these bad boys check off most of the boxes in a decent man cave fitting checklist. They are fairly light, they scream Macho, some are stackable, most – unless you’re Lady Gaga or you have an obsession with gold and diamonds – are highly affordable.

In case you missed it, we already ranked the 5 best man cave bar stools in this article But if you’ve already seen it and want more, we got you covered.

The Classic

You can’t go wrong with a stool that screams BAR. The sort of stool you have to convince your friends that you didn’t steal from the local Irish Pub. A proper wooden stool can never steer you wrong, it gifts a man cave that touch of decor some desperately need and it’s available here.

The Steel Job

We have become a generation obsessed with shiny steel artifact. A generation that has sunk back into the hay-days of their childhood. “Look at the pretty penny. Look at the shiny keys.” Yup, that’s us and our only reaction is the drool hanging from our chin. These metal stools are without a doubt the sort of furniture that might go perfectly in sync with your iPhone or your iPad, or whatever iDingus you love so much. Available here in sets of 4.

The Couch

Yes, a couch, a real spacious couch, is the sort of furniture that although costly, seems to tack off as many manly necessities as possible. A couch is the equivalent of the Swiss Army knife of seating implements. If you get past the hassle of their weight, past the challenge of the crippling debt they sometimes represent, past the bouts of TETRIS flashbacks you’re bound to have every time you see a doorway.

If you can get past all these hurdles, you’ll find that a proper couch or a couch that’s a functional piece of furniture you desperately want. Need a place to sleep? Done. A place to watch the TV? Done. A place to eat? Done. A place to hibernate? Done. A place to fornicate? Done. Yea, we went there.

The Artsy Futon

Everyone has a couch, but not everyone has a piece of art that’s willing to support their asses day in day out. This Futon (which is just fancy talk for couch) not only transforms into a bed, but it manages to impress your friends with the depths of your good taste. You can grab this white stallion here.

The 'Never Go Out of Style'

Why fret with so many options, you can never go wrong with a classic. Faux leather (cause the real one is too expensive), removable armrest, chrome legs and it turns into a pull out bed for those long nights when the misses goes bat shit insane and tosses your sorry ass out off bed. Find refuge and comfort on those lonely nights by clicking here.

The Three Piece

Whenever there is a recliner, standing tall by a couch, you just know that a civil war is about to breakout. Nearly everyone is willing to sell their grandmother off for a shot at sitting on the Recliner. The equivalent of two brothers calling dibs on the front seat.

With this lavish couch, you won’t have to face that possibility. With this baby, with its leather upholstery and three seating, every man in the cave will be a happy camper. If you want it, it’s available right here.

The Recliner

Joey and Chandler from friends had two. Their apartment nothing more than a T.V. set, a duck, a chicken and two recliners. Bestest buds who knew the essence of the man experience. A recliner, is the one chair you pray for. If the cops come by and find you dead from a stroke on a recliner, you just know one of them will say: “Lucky Bastard. He died like a man.” A good place to start if you’re in search of a recliner is our article about the 8 best leather recliners. If that wasn’t what you needed, there are more recliner options below.

The Original

The ACME Recliner is sturdy enough, comfy enough, and cheap enough to satisfy all of your Recliner needs. Support, comfort and overstuffed pillows, what else do you need? Grab it here.

The Odd Chairs

The chairs that can’t be categorized, those strange pieces of furniture that don’t fit into any category and might as well be tossed into the miscellaneous section. Each unique in their own way, or so far from left field that they might as well have come from Mars.

The Sport Chair

“Bob? Naw, he’s not into sports… He’s sort of a pussy.”

Prove your friends wrong with this piece of male clad handling. Pick your favorite team sport, basketball, baseball, football, soccer, and show your friends that you also get a hard-on every time big strong man catch a leather ball… Wait, that came out wrong. ANYWAY, get this seat in the sport of your choice here.

The Hipster

James Franco has one, so why not? Why does that punk get one and not you? This acrylic piece of furniture will isolate you from mankind. Sound proof, the bubble swallows up noise with nifty physics. Fall back in time and stumble once more to the protective embrace of the womb. Click here to get it.

The Villain's Chair

Swirl into the room, while petting a white cat and go all James Bond baddie on your friends. This chair, with scratch resistance will make you recall those Sean Connery days where you Only Lived Twice, Russian’s used to send love letters and there was something called an Octopussy that made you snicker in the boy’s room at school. Become a villain while sitting on your ass by clicking here.

The Ball Sack

Swing from the ceiling like the nut you are. Sure, it’s a therapy chair for kids with autism or learning disabilities, but what man doesn’t want to take a seat in a chair that constantly reminds him of his testicles. Next time your friends say: “Garry, tell your wife to give you back your balls.” You’ll be able to shout back and say, “She doesn’t have them. I keep them in my man-cave, next to a picture of your girlfriend in a bikini and a tube of lube!”

Will it take your weight, seeing as it’s for kids? Sure, as long as you don’t give Homer Simpson a reason to say, “Man, you need Jenny Craig.” Grab it here.

The Gamer

Get the most out of your PS4 with the perfect piece of furniture that offers the ultimate entertainment experience. Feel the vibrations ride down your backside, straight to your happy place, whenever something goes BOOM! Speakers, comfort and even LED lights serve to pimp up your Man-Cave. Plus, unlike the competitions, this one is collapsible and easily stored. Get it by clicking here.

Every man needs to feel as though he’s the king of his joint. The pinnacle of that seating arrangements has been constructed by the good folks at Osaki. If the blokes in Game Of Thrones were battling it out for this baby, you just know that, somehow, the first season would have ended with the House Of Stark discovering the nuclear bomb and going all Eisenhower on the Lannisters.

The Osaki is the Geisha of seats. It is the sort of massage chair that puts a double jointed lady contortionist with an open mind to shame. It does everything… So much, that next year’s model might even come with a microwave oven and a detachable shower head. Check it out by clicking here.

Well, now with your round table perfectly stocked. With your knights valiantly partaking of libations and telling their fair share of dirt jokes, you can finally get to business….The business of kicking hippie ass and getting that vegan SOB off your daughter before hell decides to show up at your doorstep with a hand-basket.